Stuff White People Like - One of My New Favorite Books.

#8 - Barack Obama

White people like Barak Obama because they are afraid that if they don't they will be considered racist.

#9 - Making You Feel Bad for Not Going Outside

As mentioned earlier, white people love to be outside. But not everyone knows that another thing they like to do is make people feel bad for wanting to watch sports or TV or play video games. White it would be easy to get angry at white people for this, remember it is hardwired in their heads that the greatest thing people can do in their free time is hike/walk/bike outdoors.

Usually, they will see that you are preparing to enjoy your life and they will say, "Hey let's go for a hike in the park," and most people will say, "Hey, thanks, but I've been working all week and I'm really excited about watching this game," and then they will respond "Don't be a lump on the cough, you're wasting your life away," etc... If you ignore them, they will eventually go away.

And, much like most things with white people, they win both ways. If you decide to go with them, they feel good about getting someone off the couch and "into the fresh air" and if you don't go, they spend their entire time outdoors saying "Boy, this is great, K doesn't know what he/she is missing!" and running on a mix of self-satisfaction, Odwalla juice and muesli.

# 16 Gifted Children

White people love "gifted" children. Do you know why? Because an astoundoing 100 percent of their kids are gifted! Isn't that amazing?

I'm pretty sure that the last nongifted white child was born in 1962 in Reseda, California. Since then, it's been a pretty sweet run.

The way it works is that white kids who are actually smart are quickly identified as "gifted" and take special classes and eventually end up in college and then law school or med school.

But wait, aren't there white people who aren't doctors or lawyers, or even all that smart? Well, here another of those awesome white person win-win situations. If white kids get crappy grades and can't seem to ever do anythign right in school, they are still gifted! How, you ask? They are just too smart for school. They are too creative, too advanced to care about trivial minutiae of the day-to-day operations of school.
Eventually they will show thier creativity in elaborate constructions of bongs and intimate knowledge of different kinds of mushrooms and hash.